Our Racist, Sexist Society

Anger fuels a lot of stupid actions.  It leads to shouting matches, regret, violence, and in worse cases, death.  Often, it goes hand-in-hand with fear. It also results in ignorance.   Hurtful, destructive, pitiful ignorance.

Spewing hatred back at those who have hurt us feels good in the moment.  And you would think most of us would understand that doing so fixes nothing.  And perhaps most of us do, but I see enough contrary evidence to think otherwise. I’m talking about two items in particular:  sexism towards men, and racism towards white people.

Both are everywhere.

In recent months, just like you, I binge-watched seasons of Fuller House.  And I cringed.  Don’t get me wrong–great show, fun blast from the past, good memories, good times.  But one of the earlier episodes of the first season features a joke at the expense of white people, delivered by the character Ramona.  The laugh track sounded, implying, perhaps, that I too, was supposed to laugh.   Lame sitcom jokes aside, I couldn’t even crack a smirk.

Now, let me make it clear: I’m not trying to sound like a butt-hurt whiny white person.  My ultimate concern is not my own bruised ego, but the collective emotional health of society.  How, I ask you, do we fix what’s broken by breaking it all the more?

The problem continues with treating men as stupid and less-than women.  Yes, women are more often sexually abused.  But men are, too. Women have traditionally suffered belittlement at the hands of men.  But with the pendulum swinging the other way, more than ever, men, too, are belittled. And to suggest that “real men” know “it’s just a joke!” is nothing short but hurtful and small-minded.  Flip the switch for a moment.  It’s nineteen-fifty something, and an ignorant dude makes a sexist remark about his secretary.  She’s offended.  “Relax!  It’s just a joke!”   …Are we offended?  And yet it’s just fine, right, to cop the same attitude when men and the women who support their rights get righteously angry at such remarks?  “Relax, dude, it’s just a joke!”

You’re hoping, I assume, to “make things right for women” by insulting men.  And, perhaps, you’re hoping to “make white folks wake up and understand racism is still a problem” by making and supporting racist remarks about white people.

Or maybe you’re just angry.

And you have a right to be.

I’m angry, too.

But let’s not kid ourselves.  Poisoning a poisoned apple doesn’t make it less poisoned.

I’m aware racism and sexism are problems in this world.  They always will be.

I also understand that because of the color of my skin, I can’t ever fully appreciate the problem of racism as it pertains to black people, or any non-white people group.

I also understand that there are some people who think that “white” is an nationality and that white people have no culture.    And I’ve been told by a black person that my skin is “too white”, and therefore is “gross.”

But this problem goes beyond any personal insults.    Anger makes us do stupid things.  Which is why we also need to forgive.  We need to lift up and protect the persecuted. We need to educate ourselves.  And part of that is refusing to take part in any form of prejudice.  …Laugh tracks included.

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Have Readers Turned Into Bullies?

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I am a writer. Reading is a key component of what I do, and both reading and writing have reminded me of the strengths in others that are often overlooked or underappreciated.  Society likes to sneak in little forms of prejudice, that while appearing innocuous, pack a big, harmful punch.  And at times, in my thoughts if nothing else, I’ve been guilty of participating in it.  Yet while I haven’t always reacted in a gracious manner to people who operate differently than I do, I aim to keep an open mind.

This includes not shaming or bullying people who do not read.

According to The Atlantic, the number of non-book-readers has nearly tripled since 1978, though their findings were from 2014.  The Atlantic has also reported that Millennials are out-reading older generations.   Our culture, I believe, has become more book-saturated than ever before.  That bodes well for my love of reading, as well for my career.

But in recent months, I’ve ran into some troubling memes and posts created or supported by fellow bookworms:

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These memes and posts shame non-readers and cast them in a disdainful light, as though their lack of reading makes them deplorable people. Ours is a culture that puts great importance on reading, but the truth is that reading is by no means the only way to learn. Reading can be a great tool to help people learn how to communicate with clarity, but it isn’t the only way to communicate. Human beings are equipped with a variety of communication tools: aside from intuition, there are facial expressions, mannerisms, and other visual-related mechanisms all part of something called observational learning.

For example, some people learn how to cook not by reading recipe books, but by years of watching their mothers or fathers prepare meals for their families. I for one need to follow recipes, so learning how to cook simply by watching is definitely not a strength of mine. And yet, I don’t believe those who know how to cook from years of watching their parents have ever shamed or insulted me for not possessing their particular skillset. Can you imagine?

Jeeze, Sarah, I can’t believe you have to read in order to cook a meal! Shame on you, shame!

Flip the tables—put yourself in their shoes. Direct the insults at yourself in regard to your lacking areas, and just as though you were speaking to a misbehaving little kid, see how it makes you feel.

Once again, society has created a shame-filled, hostile environment for those it deems unworthy or less-than.

In every group of people, of course, you will find those who are kind and those who suffer from insecurities, and as a result, will treat others who are different as inferior to them. Decades ago, bookworms were part of the nerd group, and were bullied because of it. These days, it’s “cool to be a nerd”. The internet and social media has offered a voice to introverted nerdy types, and has in a lot of ways, glorified being a nerd.  Don’t get me wrong–it’s great (I’m a part of that group)! But, so it goes, hurt people hurt people. Could it be that nerds have become the bullies?  I believe that yes, some of them have.  

Reader: Don’t Confuse Your Elitist Behavior With Intelligence

Discriminatory bookworms have developed a sense of elitism, flaunting their intellectual superiority with a smug air. But here’s the thing: Saying you feel sorry for people who do not read and shaming them does not make you look intelligent.

It makes you look small-minded and intolerant. That’s right, it makes you look stupid—it makes you look emotionally unintelligent. You’re adding to an already ugly culture of separatism, which eagerly lends itself to the destruction of humankind.

Reading, after all, is not the backbone of society. Humanity is the backbone of society.

But, it’s not too late to redeem yourself. …All that information you’ve gleaned from reading and writing? Stop lording it over others who don’t read. Find a way to teach it to them—show them, put it in a format they can understand. Use your strengths and learn how to celebrate the strengths of others. It will make you a better person, which subsequently will help make the world a better place. There is already enough discrimination in this world and an overabundance of mean people. Don’t be one of them.

Some have argued that those who do not like to read simply haven’t found the book that is right for them. Sure, there is a wealth of book formats with varying reading levels available, but the truth of the matter is, some people have good reasons for not reading. Either they had a traumatic experience with reading (were called stupid due to dyslexia, etc), or they learn better by watching or listening—or both. They still have worth. They still have their own brand of intelligence.  Don’t feel sorry for them.  Learn from them.

And here’s a closing thought: if reading hasn’t taught you how to, with an open mind, consider the viewpoints of others different than you, perhaps you are doing it wrong. But, you’re different than I am. You have your own way of doing things. So long as you’re not hurting others…I won’t shame you.

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Sources:

Penelope Trunk

The Atlantic 

Very Well

Holiday Bigotry

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The other day, I read a comment on a Facebook page that made me cringe.  It was a page that celebrates the excitement of the holidays, and on a post of a “December holiday-ish” picture (read, candles, wreath, script-type font that said Happy Holidays, etc), there it was:  the awful, head-shaking comment.

Here’s the gist of the comment:  I don’t understand why people call it “the holidays”.  Only pagans celebrate Halloween and Thanksgiving is only for the U.S.A. It’s not multiple holidays–it’s just Christmas. 

I know what you’re thinking. But I got the strong sensation it was not a troll. But troll or not, such a comment as this adds to the overall separation, injustice, and ignorance of society–the world’s society, not just that of America.  Which leads me to why this comment bothered me so much…it’s the same reason why that Band-Aid song bothers me as well.  “There won’t be snow in Africa this Christmastime”…There likely won’t be snow in my neck of the woods, either…what’s your point? …And “Do they know it’s Christmastime at all?”    Contrary to popular belief, not all of the world revolves around Christmas.  I understand, the song is meant to get us greedy first world people to think outside of ourselves for once, but I still cry poor choice in lyrics. And, no, New Edition, it’s not Christmas all over the world tonight, and that’s not just due to the different time zones.

Many cultures don’t celebrate it at all, in fact.  And–gasp–! Some of those cultures are right here in the good ol’ U.S. of A.  Some groups instead celebrate Yule…or Hanukkah…or Kwanzaa, etc.   The point is, that when some “people” say “the holidays”, they are respectfully acknowledging the fact that there are more holidays this time of year than just Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas.

And then the assumption that only the states celebrate Thanksgiving.  Most of Canada, if I remember correctly, does so in October.

And here’s something else. “Only pagans celebrate Halloween”–this is so false, it hurts!  Never mind the blatant disrespect for pagans, as though they aren’t the aforementioned “people”.  Wow.  Just…wow.  It hurts my heart.

…Now, this comment was one of those comments where you either refuse to stand for the ignorance and bigotry behind it and comment so yourself, or you ignore it, knowing there is a chance it’s a troll, begging for attention.  I chose to ignore it there, but blog about it here.

What would you have done?  Do you agree with my assessment of this comment?

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