“It’s the difference between letting the ache push me forward and letting it push me down.”
Today I wrote. A lot. Being so, I have a nasty case of brain-mush. So much of my life is dedicated towards completing Belinda Starr and the Metallic Enchantment, and as I’ve said before (and in case you didn’t know), writing a novel is HARD. Someday soon I hope to see Belinda Starr and the Metallic Enchantment become a best-seller, but tonight my mind, heart and soul are just plain tired.
It’s trying, to say the least, to put so much effort into something like this, especially when there are other things for which I long. This longing is at times, an all-consuming ache. I ache for writing-related, J.K. Rowling-level fame. I ache to visit Ireland, New Zealand, and my brother in Arizona. I ache for financial stability. I ache for my husband and I to have a child. The ache for all these yet-to-be-obtained things can be useful in that it pushes me towards completing my goals, but the ache can also be so painful that it borderline undoes me. That’s when I need to stop for a moment and remind myself of all the things for which I am grateful, the things I already have now,the things for which I once ached:
- Christ, my Savior. The One who solved mankind’s biggest ache of all.
- My husband. What a man! My kindred spirit, my sweet Bunny, the love of my life!
- My mom. She’s been such a blessing to us!
- My beagle. A furry blessing, what could be better?
- A loving and supportive family.
- Good friends, old and new
- A great middle-grade fantasy novel in the makings, Belinda Starr and the Metallic Enchantment.
- Three completed works available on Amazon.
- Time to write! What every author wants and needs!
- Food, water, shelter. For real, these things ought not to be taken for granted!
- The freedom to write what I want. Another blessing not to be taken lightly.
This last one is the difference between letting the ache push me forward and letting it push me down. I’m still tired. My brain is still mush. And while the ache has not subsided, I am confident that with God’s help (and God willing), that ache will be manifested into a wealth blessings yet to come. For now, I think I’ll take advantage of another one of life’s many blessings:
- Rest. Specifically, rest in Him. Resting in Him means knowing that even though I ache, I am never alone. He’s heard my heart’s desires, and although I can’t be sure my plans will align with that of God’s, even if the Belinda Starr series never sees the shelves of Barnes and Noble, through the storms of my aching, one thing I can be sure of is His divine peace. What a blessing.
For what do you ache? What blessings do you already have in your life? Let me know in the comments below!